Let’s try another random thingie…
(I kept deleting for the past hour every sentence I was writing so let’s see what is the one thing I will stop erasing)
All I can think about is my nails ripping his back skin off. Maybe because the sun already burned it or maybe just because my nails are long enough. I remember how he would always hold my hand so tight and our fingers would come together like one. Sometimes I think about his brownish eyes. I was the only one who knew about the blue spots in them. It was our secret, hidden from the entire world. That and the bruises on my inner thighs. The memory of ice melting over my cleavage while he follows the dripping of tiny drops is more than I can handle now. Tequila would sure be better if the ice wasn’t melting so easily. Or if lemons were sourer.
During night he’s always silent; I’m watching the stars and he’s staring at me. I hate it, I always hated it but I could never told him that. I remember the time when he was playing along with any of my silly dreams. And I was happy, in that moment I was more than delighted. He never knew that either. I don’t like letting him know how happy he can make me. What for?!
All I can think about is some fresh air and perhaps the rage of a winter storm. The future seems so far that even the thoughts about running freely are faded. And he’s always on the other side. The other side of the cold season, the other side of my beating heart, the other side of the bleeding scars, the other side of the lies. He will never leave and I will never settle for less than a snowy winter and a kiss.